I Am This: I Miss You

An online marketplace for selling and buying all things handmade!

It's like shopping at the artists market, but from your own home. I discovered the website just in time for Christmas and along with my trip to Blue Banana Market in Toronto, have managed to get almost everyone on my list home made gifts.

Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.

Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The Question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We don't have to travel far away to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to leave our city or even our neighborhood to enjoy the eyes of a beautiful child. Even the air we breathe can be a source of joy.

We can smile, breathe, walk, and eat our meals in a way that allows us to be in touch with the abundance of happiness that is available. We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive at the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.

Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment. ... Thich Nhat Hanh

A Story of Enlightenment, Deepak Chopra

BUDDHA is a wonderfully imaginative story of a man and his iconic journey to personal spiritual growth.

: Name: I Am This; Location: Toronto, Ontario

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Sunday, June 12, 2005

I Miss You

I'm missing you so much right now. I wonder where you are. What you are doing.

I wonder if you are missing me right now too.

Yanna and I have talked extensively about what's transpired.
She has me calling her everyday to check in.

But it doesn't really take away the way I feel right now.

The past day or so I've been a little better than before, but I was very panicky there for awhile. Quite possibly cause I have no control over what's going on. I have control over how I feel and how I choose to react, but nothing beyond that. I guess that's why I enjoyed my independance for so long. Quite possibly the reason why I was so hesitant to make this a full-fledged relationship.

Today ... I am feeling confused. I'm confused because a week ago you were loving me so beautifully. You caressed me, stroked me, kissed me and made love to me. And then 4 days later you walked out of my life.

The little girl in me says, "What did I do wrong?".

The mother in me says, "Sweetie, you did nothing wrong."

I just ... I just don't understand.

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