I Am This: Lost in Limbo

An online marketplace for selling and buying all things handmade!

It's like shopping at the artists market, but from your own home. I discovered the website just in time for Christmas and along with my trip to Blue Banana Market in Toronto, have managed to get almost everyone on my list home made gifts.

Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.

Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The Question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We don't have to travel far away to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to leave our city or even our neighborhood to enjoy the eyes of a beautiful child. Even the air we breathe can be a source of joy.

We can smile, breathe, walk, and eat our meals in a way that allows us to be in touch with the abundance of happiness that is available. We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive at the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.

Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment. ... Thich Nhat Hanh

A Story of Enlightenment, Deepak Chopra

BUDDHA is a wonderfully imaginative story of a man and his iconic journey to personal spiritual growth.

: Name: I Am This; Location: Toronto, Ontario

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Sunday, July 24, 2005

Lost in Limbo

I'm feeling really frustrated today. And a bit disappointed as well. I am really trying to just be in the present moment with my emotions, rather than dismissing them, or beating myself up over having them, or even having an opinion about them. I am really trying to take the time to just close my eyes, calm my breathe and look within. Fuck this is so god damn hard. I just wish I knew what was going on.

It seems as though I keep setting myself up for disappointment.

Here is wound you made.
Come closer.
Go ahead.
Stick your finger in it.
Open it up again.
Make it bleed.
Hurt me some more.

Left side: "Come over here! I promise to keep you safe Kelly"
Right side: "Come over here! I don't make promises Kelly"

I feel like I am stuck in limbo. I kinda feel that in order to not be in limbo, I must choose one side. Sometimes I feel as though I am punishing myself by not choosing one!

Whilst talking to myself in the mirror today, I said back to myself: "This is the whole point ya nimmy. Being in limbo is being present". It was eye opening then, but not so eye opening now.

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