Why is this happening to Me .. or The Fruits of Meditation

The hums of chanting are non-stop. It is coming from within me, I have pinned it to be in the top left corners of my being. It is deep and resonating. It is the sound AUM. There are other words but I cannot make them out. AUM is loud, deep and very clear, what follows thereafter is very faint. My sexually energy has reached a peak. I am constantly in a state of arousal. Not by anyone in particular or anything, though I do find myself sexually attracted and drawn towards different people. Evening time seems to be the hardest. This is when it is at its highest. I have been experimenting with sending the orgasms up, rather than out. I have not been masterbating out of pleasure. Music. Flute and piano sounds. Unlike the chanting, the music seems to be coming from a source outside of myself. Below my belly button I am feeling a rhythmic beating, resembling that of a heart beat. I'm sure everyone feels this from time to time, but in the past few weeks this has increased rapidly and more deeply. Tingling sensations. At most times in my feet and hands. Feeling disconnected to people. In particular my family. This started when my mom came to visit and I spent the entire weekend (when we weren't out) in my bedroom. Awareness of this was at its strongest point at my nieces birthday party. I had a strong urge to remove myself from everyone and went to my sisters bedroom. I slept for 4 hours. When in my dad's presence at the party, I became quite agitated with him and refused to take the ride home with him and my uncle. When my father or mother calls, I have no desire to answer the phone. This isn't new, but that feeling of withdrawl from them is extremely forceful. Conversations with myself. This always happens after meditation. I am compelled to write things down. Just a constant flow of words. Lately when I say "Why ...." I am immediately given a response. Pain. My shoulders and upper back are always sore. It began just during meditation, but now it is at all times. Movements. I constantly find myself, even at work (!) moving my body in peculiar positions. The one that startled me recently was when I interlocked my arms behind my back while speaking with one of the boys. I didn't realize what I had done until I was in position. During meditation and immediately after I find myself in yoga positions and bowing positions. Sleep. Sometimes I get 3 hours of sleep, other times I am out like a light. Thoughts of ending my life are rapidly taking over all other thoughts. This may infact be due to my grieving process. Or it may not be. It was limited to just during sleeping hours. But has increased to periods throughout the day. Almost like daydreaming. I sometimes catch myself planning how I am going to do this. edit: As of late, I have been noticing things on my body. I seem to have an invisible rash on my upper arm (you can feel it but you can't see it). Then I have had 2 blisters form on my body. One on my middle toe, and another on my thigh. Today I have noticed a strange cluster of white bumps on my middle finger. All of these are on the right side of my body. I have also had several bruises form on my legs, to which I cannot recall from where they might have come from.