Today has been a fairly hard day for me. First day back at work, but I don't think that was the problem. It was more so the energy sucking I felt from my clients (one lady in particular, Lorraine, who spilled her whole life story to me during a nutritional counselling session). When I arrived in the parking lot at work my vision was really messed up. Everything was hazy .. and seemed unnatural. The energy in the air was draining. My eyes seemed to dart back and forth, back and forth. But it didn't really seem like I was looking through my eyes. I also had the sensation that I could feel peoples emotions. See who they were. Just by looking at them. I later saw a man, who gave me a very perverted look. The instant our eyes connected I was suddenly rushed back to when I was 15, when I was raped by a 55 year old man in his apartment. I had completely forgotten about this moment in my life, vanished it from my collective memory. All these emotions of pain and helplessness and angry came rushing into my being. My face got very hot, yet my forehead felt like there was a cold draft on it and the top of my head. This feeling lasted for about 5 minutes and then disappated. I got off of work early and came home. Feeling very drained I laid down on the couch. I fell asleep for about a 1/2 hour. When I woke, I suddenly had a recollection of last year, hallowe'en. Ian had made Megan an icq account and I became very upset over this. Ian brought this event up to me yesterday but I couldn't recall it at all. I suddenly was able to account every detail of the event and felt all the emotions I felt then flood my being. I felt violated and rejected and untrusting. My whole body became to pulse - I could feel my legs and stomach vibrating on the couch. Again my face got very hot and suddenly my hand snapped into a mudra. Usually my hand slowly "twitches" into mudras but not this evening. My hand was pulsing with energy and instantly took this formation. After a relentless search online for the particular mudra, the closest I was able to come up with was the shuni mudra which symbolizes patience and disconcertment.