Aloneness

Within attachment I can see the roots of possessiveness, jealousy, fear, self-centeredness, anxiety and so on. One thing I’ve discovered in my attachment to others is the denying of freedom, both to myself and to the person of my attachment. Loneliness has it roots in attachment as well. I am beginning to see that most of my emotions are a reaction to my fear of loneliness, or rather, the minds fear of loneliness. A session I had months and months ago with Yanna she asked me a question about why I was with Ian. She asked me what my fear was in leaving or losing him. My answer then was I was afraid to be alone. “To be alone, or to be lonely?”, she asked. I was confused with her question, as I thought both were the same. I see now the difference between loneliness and aloneness. Loneliness is a state of the ego in which the mind tries to escape. It is frightening because the ego has created it. Loneliness breeds fear, jealousy, possessiveness, selfishness, dominance. Aloneness, I’ve come to learn, is the awareness of loneliness without an effort to escape. *Added thoughts* In order to understand (learn) aloneness, you must know loneliness. Aloneness is not loneliness, but you cannot experience aloneness without experiencing loneliness. To experience loneliness with no division between 'you' and the 'loneliness'. With no opinion of what is is, no prejudice, no description, no assumptions or idea's. To experience loneliness without the fear that the ego creates. Funnily enough, it is the ego that gives loneliness a name. We know loneliness because the ego/mind has created loneliness through past memories. Without this creation of loneliness through the mind/ego, is there even loneliness? Aloneness is not the opposite of loneliness. Aloneness is not being alone, because we are never alone as long as there is the process of experience. Aloneness simply is the action which is not a result of a reaction. Isolation is not aloneness. There is influence in isolation, therefore it is a reaction. We cannot learn what aloneness is until we experience what loneliness is.