Right Thinking

I spent many, many years saturating myself within the buddhist philosophy. I have enough buddhist books to school an entire monastery. One of the more discussed subjects in buddhism is Right Thought ( in addition to Right Speech and Right Action). Though some of the theories discussed and applied in buddhism resonate with(in) me, I've discovered for myself an understanding that is much deeper than anything I could "take" from a book, or an author, or a guru, or a philosophy. Where do we begin to discover what is real in all this chaos? Is it not important to discover for and within ourselves how to think rightly about our relationships; with each other and with the world? How shall we begin to learn for ourselves what right thinking is and not be trapped within an illusional pattern of ideas and biases. A mind that is weighed down with judgment and comparison and ignorance and arrogance cannot comprehend itself nor the whole; this is a narrow mind. I think it is obvious that without right thinking our affections and actions have no foundation. Right thinking cannot be understood or discovered in books, attending dharma talks or listening to some other persons thoughts of what right thinking is. It must be discovered for ourselves through ourselves. Right thinking comes with self-knowledge. Without it, there can be no right thinking. Without knowing what you think and what you feel how can you know yourself? The root of all understanding resides in understanding ourselves. Without knowing ourselves we continue to be caught in the cycle of responding on our motivations, objectives, private thoughts and feelings; without understanding this how can I agree or disagree with another? How can I authenticate my relationship with another if I cannot establish a relationship with myself? Without knowing yourself fully you cannot think right. Without understanding yourself you cannot understand the whole. This self-knowledge is nurtured through the our pursuit of ourselves. By no means am I implying that the individual is in opposition of the whole. I, the individual, am the mass, the result of the whole. In myself, I will discover, both the many and the element. Waves in an ocean. With this basic understanding, we proceed to profound growth. In order to understand the whole, we must first understand ourself. ~~~~~ I am especially tired this week (my god, its only tuesday). I am feeling increasingly overwhelmed with my responsibilities both in home and work. I am feeling irritated in some areas of my life as well, in particular with a certain individual. I need to take the time to understand in myself why and where in order to evaporate these feelings as they are energy-sucking. I will continue my contemplative thoughts later this week.