A symphony of permanence and change

Is it necessary to, "agree or disagree" with another ? Lets look at the question I asked within the context I wrote it in. "How can I agree or disagree with what you said .... if I do not understand myself?" If I do not know why I disagree, where that discordance comes from, how can I really disagree? My discordance must be an illusion. If I say, the sky is blue, yet I've never seen the sky or do not know what blue is, how can I claim to know that the sky is blue? Do you understand what I am trying to investigate here? How can I have understand anything, most importantly our relationship, if I do not understand who I am? Both me, this person writing this text who has emotions and desires and pains and thoughts and pleasures; but as well me the particular of the whole? How can I agree or disagree with you if I do not understand myself, because when I do not understand myself how can I understand you? And when we do understand ourselves and the total collective, we most likely will not have a need to "agree or disagree" with another. ~~~~~ Though tired and still not feeling very well, I managed to make it to Guru Gita this morning. Megan fussed a bit this morning about having to go, but with 2 minutes left to get out the door finally decided she'd go (and then it was a struggle getting her to leave the Centre!). It was quite chilly out and my sandals didn't provide much coverage for my toes from the cold autumn air. I love autumn though, it is my favorite season, so no complaints outta me. I can't wait to move. I'm scared and excited and sad. A life of memories I'm leaving behind .. but most of them I am glad to let be free of. We didn't stay for lunch. Something felt displaced to me at the Centre this morning. It wasn't anything in particular, but many things. [...] seemed very standoffish with m. I saw him trying to peek a look at me out of the corner of his eye during chant. I really miss him. He wants to end communication between each other and I will admit that to hear that hurts. There was a lady there this morning that I've never seen before. She walked past Megan and I several times and just stared at us, mostly Megan though. It wasn't just a glance, it was an uncomfortably long stare and when I smiled at her she quickly turned away. There was another unknown lady at the Centre, a little older than the first. She was rather disruptive to a few members during service this morning, walking up to the alter just before arati and then eating the amrit food before it was even served. Shamo referred to her as the "Crazy Lady". It amazes me .... well actually not it doesn't. It's comical to see how people can spend years of their lives in devotion, yet give it all up in an instant to shame someone who appears out of the ordinary. Lots of Thanksgiving meals this weekend and tomorrow especially. Thanksgiving lunch and then dinner. Gobble Gobble.